Let me start by saying, losing a pet sucks. It really does, I know that is a massive understatement. We love our pets, and we live in the hope that they’ll be there until we’re gone. But, honestly, and realistically, that’s not gonna happen.
We recently lost our cat, Mr Bump, to hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. I’ve kept Mr Bump for 16 years, and he was my closest friend. Losing him was truly the most heartbreaking, and it was incredibly hard to deal with.
Obviously, I loved the little grump more than myself. I was constantly looking to improve his lot, the best food, the most fun toys, and constant grooming. He was the real definition of a pampered pet.
I won’t lie, he was a right sod when he wanted to be! But what I wouldn’t give to have him back.
Now, I know I’m not alone. Everyone who has loved a pet knows how truly horrible it is to have them one day, then the next day for them to be gone. That’s what happened to Bump.
The first 24 hours of pet loss
Look, right now you are either depressed or in shock or both. You probably don’t want to be thinking about what you should do.
Whether you lost your dog or cat through natural means or at the vets, cut some of their fur. Weird, sure, comforting? Massively. Having a small amount of their fur inside a small glass vial can be very comforting.
It might not be the first thing you think of, but you’re gonna be glad you did. If you had to leave your loved one at the vets, ask them, even if you’ve left. Give your vet a ring and just ask them if they haven’t offered already. They’ll be more than happy to do so!
Private or communal cremation
You’re gonna be asked at the hardest point which way you want to do with your pet, and you will be asked whether you want to take them home or be cremated and whether you want to go for a private or communal cremation.
Both are very common, but you might not know the difference. Also, when you aren’t thinking straight, my advice is to wait… There is no rush to choose in the vet room.
Firstly, private cremation is expensive. There is no hiding that. We paid £316 for Mr Bump’s cremation, but you do have the option to have their ashes returned to you. The cost does involve the cremation, a memory box with engraving, and, admittedly, we got a paw print, which did increase the price.
However, the company we used (Resting Pets) were possibly the most empathetic and caring people we spoke with. They never rushed and allowed us to fully decide our wishes. Which we took full advantage of.
I’ve included a link to their website, but just for transparency, we are not affiliated or under any kind of financial commitment to recommend them; they just were so great, I’m shouting about them.
Secondly, communal, unfortunately, with this option, you do not get the choice of having your pet’s ashes returned to you; however, it is much cheaper. I can’t remember the cost. I have needed to use the communal cremation option, as at the time, we couldn’t afford the cost of private.
If you’re unsure, a communal cremation is one where multiple pets are cremated at the same time. While you don’t get the ashes returned, they are scattered in a local cemetery or garden, so although it may be difficult to choose, remember they will be placed somewhere respectful and beautiful, and you do have the option to visit their resting place.
Dealing with your pet loss
When you’ve spent years and years looking after a small furry friend, regardless of whether they’re a dog, cat, rabbit, whatever, dealing with their loss is unbearably difficult!
Just like there are services for those who have lost a human family member, so too are there options for pet loss.
When we lost Mr Bump, our vet (Colne Valley Vets) sent us a lovely card, a tuft of his hair and a card for pet loss grief counselling, provided by the Blue Cross. While neither Hannah nor I used this service, I’ve included it here as I felt it was incredibly useful for those struggling with pet loss.
Again, this is not a paid endorsement; I just love that there are people out there who are able to help people who have lost their loved ones.
Getting grief counselling, it can help you to move on, not that you need to move on, but it makes the pain much easier to deal with! Dealing with the loss of a loved one is very difficult, so having a safe and compassionate place to talk about your loss can be invaluable to your mental health.
Should I get rid of my lost pet’s belongings?
Honestly, no. Not yet and not all! Some people do find that getting rid of painful reminders of a dark time. However, there’s no point don’t get rid of them, especially when you feel at your lowest. The reason for this is that you might want to hold on to their favourite toys, bowls, or collars!
If you are at the point where you are ready to part ways with some of their daily items, consider a pet rescue. They are constantly crying out for any and all things that can make the pets in their care more enjoyable.
Whether that’s some food, toys, scratching posts, unopened flea or worm treatment (please make sure it’s in date) and bowls! All of these items are costly for rescue shelters, so any help you can give them through donations can be invaluable.
Contact your local pet rescue to see what they’re desperate for and whether they’d either pick up the items or would prefer them to be dropped off.
It takes time!
Losing a pet really does suck. Feeling lost, confused, and having to get out of the habit of caring for them is hard. The one thing we’d say it gets easier, but don’t rush to get over your pet. They were a huge part of your life, and there is no set time before the grief becomes easier to deal with.
Good luck!